Faded
by Lizard Pie
Summary: The one way to get Ren into a singing fic, give him experimental milk! HoroRen


AN: A quick little song fic for a contest I didn't win. My version of slash, which is all parody.

_Experimental Milk_

_Don't touch. Seriously, don't touch._

Based on the quick, cramped hand writing, it was Faust. Once again he was bored and making… things. He needed another part-time job, probably; something more mentally stimulating.

Hopefully, though, no one had fallen for the sick little joke of putting it right next to the regular milk. He wouldn't be surprised if there was a hidden camera set up to watch it.

Grabbing the first real thing he saw to eat, Horo decided that he might as well see what was on T.V.. This was short lived, though; as he made the mistake of walking through the door way and spilled what had been a good bowl of rice and something all over the floor.

Of all the things he had been expecting, Ren… well, was not one of them. He'd… he'd stolen one of Jun's dresses… which was in a way nice because it was hiding in between his ungraciously sprawled out legs. Because of the lack of, well, boobs, the panda was sagging pathetically on his chest. The whole affair, in fact, was by far too large and looked terrible.

And yet…

Horo laughed nervously, "Um… hey Ren… You, uh, haven't been drinking that milk… oh crap, it's you, isn't it?" Of course he'd drunk the milk –that was all Ren ever did. They must go through a few thousand bottles a year back in China.

Ren only smirked from his place on the couch and, of all things, began to hum. And when he spoke… it was… seductive? What that what he was trying (and failing) to do?

"When I get you all alone, I'm gonna move in nice and close…" He stood, moving his hips slightly to the rhythm of the words, "Ain't nobody gonna interrupt my game, oh no no."

Horo stood frozen in his spot, eye twitching as he tried to make any sense of what was going on. All the while, Ren was dancing closer and closer.

"Ever since you've been hangin' round, I've been trying to figure out, what I can say to you to get some play, yeaah." The moving of the hips was becoming more pronounced. "Couldn't we do what we did last night again? Baby you and I'd be better friends…" Ren came up close enough to whisper in Horo's ear, "Don't you think it's time we went a bit FURTHER, yeaah."

Horo's jaw dropped to the floor.

Sure, he would LOVE to. Who wouldn't? But, right now, Ren was next to if not completely drugged out of his mind. To give in to that would ruin the shaky friendship they had.

But… with the way he looked… it was worth it, right?

Ren was still singing and dancing around the room as he thought, shaking his hips and moving his head over-dramatically like a bad music video.

Horo pulled at his hair as he tried to decide what to do.

Keep a long lasting friendship or take Ren?

Put off explaining to Pirikia his decided sexual orientation AGAIN or take Ren?

He couldn't remember the last time he'd had such a tough decision.

It occurred to him that with Ren being Ren and their relationship being what it was, he would never get this chance again. Drugged or not, when else could he ever do it?

All that fantasizing and hoping would be for nothing! That made up his mind for him.

Screw what logic dictated, he was getting a slice of Tao.

Love was never logical, right? So… this was perfectly justified… right?

But when would he ever have a chance like that again? He decided the consequences were worth it.

He turned with a smile to where he had left Ren.

To find Jun strangling him, snarling about how he had ruined her favorite dress. Horo stared at the scene in shock. His ONE chance...

He had to do something!

"Hey! Jun!" She looked over with furious eyes, hands still clamped around her brothers' neck. Horo smirked nervously, not quite sure what he was going to say. "Um... there are a bunch of corpses out back that look like they could be really powerful!"

She thought for a minute, let Ren fall to the floor, and hurried off to have a look.

Horo, not believing that it actually worked, stood stunned for a moment. Rather than press his luck, he grabbed the now woozy Ren and tore off to his room for the rest of the night.

THE MORAL:

If we spend way too much time on set up, we risk loosing all the fun of yaoi!


End file.
